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Lost Ones

November 12, 2011


What do I do? Where do I go? How do I move on? What turn is my life taking from here?

You are supposed to love me. Our love was supposed to last a lifetime. You were supposed to be the man for me. You said you’d stand by me to the end, at my side through whatever vicissitudes life throws at us.

Typical, how  my knight in shining armor, turned out to be a loser wrapped in shining aluminum foil. You acted no different from those other blokes. Buttered me up (like they do), saying all the right things, and making all the right promises.

Funny, how you turned out to be a  ‘smooth operator’, who got me offering it raw, without any thought to it.

I had no idea this who you truly were. Started acting up when I told you about missing my period. Acting and talking all funny. Cracking stupid jokes about ‘going to find my period wherever I left it’ and that line I still don’t get about ‘missing period being like typos’.

You’ve had some real nerve(!) walking up to my face and suggesting I get an abortion. Questioning me if the baby was truly yours. Do you still recall what you told me that first hot afternoon, the magic words you uttered, right before I offered you the treasure of my female essence?

Momma was right when she warned me of boys. “They all make babies they never take care of” she had said. *deep sigh* I should have listened to her warnings and steered clear of your cheap ass. But, No. I t had to fall for your bullshit, and offer you my heart and body.

My body.. It’s mine and mine alone, along with my baby. You relinquished all claims to it when you made that utterance. You’ve got no say or business whatever I do with what’s mine.

I’m not the kid you still are. You made me a woman. I’m now about to be a mother. A new life exists inside of me. I’m going to nurture and watch it grow. Momma did it all alone, I’m going to do same.

. . . . . . . .

Baby girl, I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. I got you pregnant now inside there is a life in you.

I’m sure it’s hard right now for you, but I need you to understand that it’s hard for me too.

I know you expecting me to do right by you. In a perfect world I’d make a wife of you, and start our own cute little family right now with you. But baby, the world we live in is anything but perfect. I have to be realistic and think about the baby.

I don’t want to be that guy who knocks you up girl and skips town leaving the baby for you take care of, but we ain’t ready for this. Think about the baby and you will realize it also.

You and I, we are still kids ourselves. How we going to raise a kid by ourselves, afford a place to live in, get through the pre-natal and hospital bills and manage to put food on the table. How are we planing to get a child through school? We barely into our twenties. We’ve got little or no marketable skills.

It hurts me when I say this, but we ain’t having this kid. ‘Cos we can’t afford to.. Stop taking that tone and looking at me like that. You acting like it’s all my fault. Though I’m accepting all blame you allocating, the truth stands that we were both too horny to remember to put on a condom.

I’m not prepared to bring my child into this world like this, knowing full well that he’d have to settle for the leftovers the way his father did. I refuse to make another child go through what I did.

I know this hurts you more than it tears me, but we can’t keep the baby. He should come first. Let’s do this for him.

* * * * * * *

Snippet from the single “Lost Ones” (download here) from J. Cole’s debut album, Cole World: The Sideline story.

10 Comments leave one →
  1. mjppreety permalink
    November 12, 2011 1:15 pm

    Nice (Y). Lost ones is one of my favourite songs of the year

  2. November 12, 2011 1:42 pm

    Once again, I come here to advertise my wares. #TeamSellABate.
    I’ve been selling bates since 1901. Plus that guy’s silly. It’s not a perfect words but when he was shagging the lil’ girl I’m sure nothing woulda been more perfect than this world yeah?
    There’s no such thing as safe sex.
    Join #TeamSellABate today.

  3. gidiswag permalink
    November 12, 2011 1:46 pm

    I like this post. The blogger takes explores and brings to life the male and female perspective of unwanted perspective. Cool post. I would like to listen to the song but the link is broke.

  4. November 12, 2011 2:44 pm

    I was annoyed about the female version till I continued on to the end and it balanced out.
    Good job.

    BTW, we offer discounts on bates and all, so you might jsut buy form us.

  5. ibetapassmynebo permalink
    November 12, 2011 3:13 pm

    Oh well. . .

  6. MartinaXI permalink
    November 12, 2011 10:12 pm

    The girl’s plight is very touching, Leon did u proofread this. There are a lot of typos

  7. Dominica permalink
    November 16, 2011 12:45 pm

    Nice one Dear.

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